THE UNDERLYING LAYERS OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
"NOT EXACTLY"
It’s a well-known characteristic of British English that politeness, understatement, and irony are often used to express disagreement or criticism.
The expression ‘not exactly’ is a favourite device in small talk. Instead of saying someone is stupid or old, we may hear they are ‘not exactly the sharpest knife in the box’ or ‘not exactly in the first flush of youth’.
This is something non-Brits need to be aware of, in order to avoid any cross-cultural misunderstanding.
e.g. It’s not exactly the fastest way to travel (=it’s very slow)
Joensuu’s not exactly the most lively of places (=it’s really boring)
That wasn’t exactly the most helpful of responses (=it was totally unhelpful)
I’m not exactly what you’d call a spreadsheet power-user (=I’m completely useless with spreadsheets)
And notice that the last sentence is even more convoluted: the formula has extended to ‘not exactly what you’d call …’ . Linguists who specialize in what is known as ‘politeness theory‘ explain that, the bigger your request, the more complex the formulation: so we might say, very simply, ‘can I borrow your pen’, but, much more indirectly, ‘I don’t suppose there’s any possibility that you might lend me your car?’